I must share with you all a quote that I shared with a friend earlier this evening. It is one that I believe can be summed up just from reading it: "In the darkest hole there is still light, you just have to open your eyes to see it". This is a great lil saying that sums up how things have gone for me the last few years. Their have been bright spots the last few years but I was blind to them, focused too much on the negative. I had one woman who used a very evil/twisted means to hold me in control, and I became very distrustful of ALL people. I didnt know where to turn at times, whether it be to friends or family. I jut didnt trust anyone...I had me and one other person who I confided in. But all that I confided was just negative, lots of negative/hateful albeit twisted thinking. I was sometimes at my most creative but without direction.
I eventually found some direction career wise, but was still a lil devoid of personal feelings towards others. And to add to my sadism I remained with this evil person through the discovery of my career path. Until one day I just thwarted her duplicity and tossed her out like a baby in bath water. And I was relieved. I felt like I was breathing again, although the darkness remained. Enter another one who was just all wrong for me. I will not go into the details of this one and the painful ending as many of you are aware of it already. The darkness seemed to settle in even more than before. And thoughts such as "I will never find anyone" or "things are hopeless" or even "I must focus on my career for that is more important than anyone".
Those thoughts are over...
Just know that my eyes are open and I now see the light. It was in a spot I never thought to look for, and what accompanies this light is happiness and joy as well. This person lent me a helping hand to find my way to just open my eyes and see the light. The light that she radiated. A light I had seen the wisps of even through closed eyes for a while but was afraid to follow it. But now I am free from the darkness and to this I say thank you.
I eventually found some direction career wise, but was still a lil devoid of personal feelings towards others. And to add to my sadism I remained with this evil person through the discovery of my career path. Until one day I just thwarted her duplicity and tossed her out like a baby in bath water. And I was relieved. I felt like I was breathing again, although the darkness remained. Enter another one who was just all wrong for me. I will not go into the details of this one and the painful ending as many of you are aware of it already. The darkness seemed to settle in even more than before. And thoughts such as "I will never find anyone" or "things are hopeless" or even "I must focus on my career for that is more important than anyone".
Those thoughts are over...
Just know that my eyes are open and I now see the light. It was in a spot I never thought to look for, and what accompanies this light is happiness and joy as well. This person lent me a helping hand to find my way to just open my eyes and see the light. The light that she radiated. A light I had seen the wisps of even through closed eyes for a while but was afraid to follow it. But now I am free from the darkness and to this I say thank you.
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