Up till now I always believed that taking a class to help improve your position in your job is one of the best ways to go. I stand corrected.

I am taking a class now that is a supplement for my job and I tell ya what, I feel like I know less and have the evidence to prove it. I just am no electrician/mechanic whatever the fuck way they want to classify me. I just dont get it!! I didnt back in August even when I graduated, I still have no idea. What makes things worse is now I am at a point where it is like "...fuck it, I dont give a fuck." I just focus now on my keyboard and my books, I dont give a flying fuck anymore.

Everyone else I work with is like "I like my job" and "This isnt so bad, etc." Ifeel fucking worthless when I get done with work everyday, and no call from anyone or a comment like "hey hang in there" or what not is going to pick up my spirits. I have fucked my life up and it is on a continuous downward spiral and there is no way for me to get out of it. I utterly loath the fact that I allowed myself to be talked into this job. I violated MY number one principle: Dont Let Others Dictate What you want to do in your life. I feel numb right now. I dont feel angry, I dont feel sad. I feel numb, I feel dead...I wish I was.