What happened to me??
I know that this is the holidays, but I do need to rant about something:
I must make a confession here or I will explode...I have become very miserable in the last month or so and it is now hurting all those I care about. And the worst part is that I am not sure how to end this misery. I think one of the key factors has been that I realized that I might have of picked the wrong career, and I am starting to feel trapped. I have kept things to myself when I should have of been telling those who would have listened. I feel a ton of regret for that now, but I can not fix that. At least not yet. I think what happened is that the more miserable I got, the more my self-respect disappered, and when my self-respect disappeared so did too my ability to care about things or people. Which allowed them to not respect me anymore either.
I now am taking to steps to amend these problems, most importantly that being to take care of myself. To treat myself right, because Goddamn it!! I do deserve it. I have spent a lot of time worrying about other people that I neglected myself. I know that sounds very selfish, but allow me to explain. It doesnt mean that I dont care about others...I care about all these people. But I cared about them sooooo much that I did so at the sacrifice of taking care of me. I allowed things to get soooo bad that it seemed that they were at a point of no return. I once was a happy person, who did not overly worry about things and I took care of myself when need be. Such as setting goals and sticking to them. Somewhere along the way I lost my compass. I am going to explore out and see what are some of my options career wise and damnit, I need to make myself happy!! Cause once I am happy, I have respect for myself, which means that I can start caring about other things again...
To those I have hurt, I apologize...To those I have negelcted, I apologize...
I just promise you that I am taking steps to correct all these wrongs. But I do confess that I am going to need some help along the way, and I ask people to exercise a lil patience with me.
Thank you, this hereby ends my ranting
And to everyone I know and love HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR. Hopefully we shall all see each other again in the new year. Happier and healthier.
I know that this is the holidays, but I do need to rant about something:
I must make a confession here or I will explode...I have become very miserable in the last month or so and it is now hurting all those I care about. And the worst part is that I am not sure how to end this misery. I think one of the key factors has been that I realized that I might have of picked the wrong career, and I am starting to feel trapped. I have kept things to myself when I should have of been telling those who would have listened. I feel a ton of regret for that now, but I can not fix that. At least not yet. I think what happened is that the more miserable I got, the more my self-respect disappered, and when my self-respect disappeared so did too my ability to care about things or people. Which allowed them to not respect me anymore either.
I now am taking to steps to amend these problems, most importantly that being to take care of myself. To treat myself right, because Goddamn it!! I do deserve it. I have spent a lot of time worrying about other people that I neglected myself. I know that sounds very selfish, but allow me to explain. It doesnt mean that I dont care about others...I care about all these people. But I cared about them sooooo much that I did so at the sacrifice of taking care of me. I allowed things to get soooo bad that it seemed that they were at a point of no return. I once was a happy person, who did not overly worry about things and I took care of myself when need be. Such as setting goals and sticking to them. Somewhere along the way I lost my compass. I am going to explore out and see what are some of my options career wise and damnit, I need to make myself happy!! Cause once I am happy, I have respect for myself, which means that I can start caring about other things again...
To those I have hurt, I apologize...To those I have negelcted, I apologize...
I just promise you that I am taking steps to correct all these wrongs. But I do confess that I am going to need some help along the way, and I ask people to exercise a lil patience with me.
Thank you, this hereby ends my ranting
And to everyone I know and love HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR. Hopefully we shall all see each other again in the new year. Happier and healthier.
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