I have to drop an awesome few lines from one of my fave comics, Patton Oswalt. This fucking hilarious line cracks me up like everytime I hear it and I recommend getting Felling Kinda Patton, his CD.

"I'm flying back to LA tommorow and I am going to the Buggy Whip restaurant, and getting a giant fucking steak!! You heard me!

I enjoy steak too much cause I hate hippies so much. You know what I mean. I enjoy steak more than I think I enjoy it. Everytime you eat a steak a hippies hackey sack goes down the gutter. {doing hippie impression} 'Ohhhh man. Ohhhh dude, what the fuck man!' Everytime you eat a steak a hippie's hackey sack goes down a sewer. Alaways remember that.

And I like the high end steak houses like Lowry's and Ruth's Chris. But I'll also go to the shitball steakhouses like Outback and Black Angus. I'm there. It's steak. Not so much Black Angus though, cause remember how friendly the ads for Black Angus used to be. They were 'Cmon in have a steak. How about a baked potato?' Your like 'fucking how about yeah see you tommorow night. Table for two 7:15'.

Now, the ads for Black Angus, you notice how it turns into this gauntlet of angry food? Its almost like they are challenging you. Like {goes into ad voice} 'At Black Angus, we'll start you off with our appetizer platter. Featuring five jumbo deep fried gulf shrimp, served on a disc of salted butter with fifteen of our potato bacon bombs, and a big bowl of pork cracklings with our cheese and butter dipping sauce.' Your like 'Ummmmm were all gonna split that' {back to voice} 'Ohhhh you'll each get your own! Then we'll take to our mile long soup and salad bar featuring bacon and cream soup and our fine berg of iceberg lettuce he-man salad served in a punch bowl, with 18 pounds of ranch dressing, pork stuffed deep fried croutons and what the hell, a couple of corn dogs' 'Uhhhh hey man, I tell ya what. Ill just get a mixed green salad.' 'Hey you'll suck a cock on the Golden Gate Bridge before Ill bring ya a mixed green buddy!!

'Then we'll wheel out our bottomless trough of fried dough!' 'What? Wait a minute, am I gonna get a steak?' 'Ohhhh you'll get a fucking steak!!! Cause then we'll bring out our 55oz. Las Mesa He-Man steak slab, served with a deep fried pumpkin stuffed with buttered scallops and 53 of our potato bacon bombs.' 'Ohhh dude I dont think...' 'And then bend over Abigail Mae, cause here comes the gravy pipe!!' 'What?!' 'Black Angus, doors are locked from the outside faggot!!! At Black Angus your name is Peaches.'"