Im sorry that all of this is still going on in your life Christie. What I have decided to supplement the Joke of the Day with what I feel are some of the better music lyrics from a classic artist, Ray Charles. Now the meaning of 'stoned' is a hell of a lot different from the meaning today:

Let's go get stoned
Let's go get stoned
When your baby won't let you in
Got a few pennies, a bottle of gin
Just call your buddy on the telephone
Let's go get stoned

Let's go get stoned
Let's go get stoned
When you work so hard all the day long
And everything you do seems to go wrong
Just drop by my place on your way home
Let's go get stoned

It ain't no harm
You're takin just a taste
But don't blow your cool
and start messing up the place
It ain't no harm you're faking just a nip
But make sure you don't fall down bust your lip
Let's go get stoned
Let's go get stoned


Now that is some funny shit. Especially from a lot of ole songs that had subliminal meanings from what people realized. A great example of this is Billy Joel's " Only the good die young", a song that is all about banging Catholic Girls. The ironic part about that was when I was in 8th grade in Catholic School, they had a lip sync contest and a group of girls lyp synced that song. I found it funny the way the priest oggled them while that was playing. Another song with a double entendra is "Uptown Girl" which is all about anal sex. Just look for the references and you will find them.

Ok now time for the joke of the day:

A blonde calls her friend and says, "I've got a problem."
He says, "What's the matter?"
She says, "I bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together, and I can't find any edges."
John says, "What's the picture of?"
She says, "It's a big rooster."
John says, "I'll come over and take a look."
When he gets to her house, she takes him into the kitchen and shows him the puzzle that's on the kitchen table.
John says, "For Christ's sakes, Buffy, put the cornflakes back in the box."

This one had me pissing, I must share with you:

How do you fuck a fat chick?
Get a pound of hamburger and a poodle. Put the hamburger in her pussy, and while the dog eats the hamburger, fuck it up the ass.