Ok I put this shit up on my very own myspace page and will put it here. Enjoy!

* Known as: Dennis or Doogie
* Lives in: Okinawa, Japan
* Birthday: May 7, 1976
* School: Bachelor's Degree, My BS in BS
* Religion: Catholic
* Shoe size: 10 1/2, 10 in boots...
* Hair color: Brownish with natural red highlights.
* Eye color: Baby Blue

Section 2 - Have You Ever...
* Cheated on someone?: Yes, with someone farrrrrrrrr better than my girlfriend.
* Been Cheated on?: Never had it proven.
* Fallen off the bed?: I broke my foot board, so does that count??
* Broken someone’s heart?: Yes
* Had your heart broken?: Yes
* Had a dream come true?: More than once, I have had a full life, and am not 30 yet
* Done something you regret?: Yes. I think of it everyday since June 4, 2000 and how my life has been worse cause of it.
* Cheated on a test?: Mainly in Tech School. I am no mechanic.

Section 3 - Currently
* Wearing?: My Mets PJ pants. Love my PJ pants, all 10 pairs of them.
* Listening to?: Depeche Mode "Personal Jesus"
* Located?: My US Government approved rubber room that is my dorm room. Need to have a pic of it someday.
* Chatting with?: Bryan from Oakland.
* Watching?: Lost, season 1. Getting into the whole thing and am addicted
* Should REALLY be doing?: Fucking the snot out of someone. Hey why lie.

Section 4 - Do You...
* Brush your teeth?: Am I an animal?
* Have any piercings?: Not anymore, used to have eyebrows pierced
* Drive?: Yes, and on the opposite side of the road!
* Drink?: Enjoying a Sam Adams now.
* Smoke?: Ciagrettes, no. Cigars, every so often. Toked up, not since like 2001.
* Got a cell?: Not here in Japan.

Section 5 - The Last Person You...
* Hugged?: I believe it was Marie. Before I left for Japan.
* Kissed?: Christie. At the break.
* IMed?: Bryan
* Talked on the phone: Me mum.
* Yelled at?: More than likely someone at work

Section 6 - Personal
* What do you want to be when you finish college?: Still don't know. I just know I don't want to go back to teaching. Teaching is for suckers and chumps!
* What has been the best day of your life?: June 20, 1998. The day I did my 1st Baseball Hall of Fame speech.
* What comes first in your life?: Educating myself. Whether that be in literature or music or the arts. Educating myself on something new everyday.
* Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: No
* What are you most scared of?: Not finding what I want to do with myself.
* What do you usually think about before you go to bed?: What I need to do to get my life back into order.
* Did you lose someone you really loved?: Yes, too many enough. Some have died, some living. Even now typing it is very tough for me to do, cause it brings their memories racing back to me.
* How many times have you fallen in love?: Twice...possibly a third.
* Love your family?: More so now that I truly understand the definition of solitude.
* Love your friends?: They all know it.

Section 7 - Favorite
* Movie: True Romance.
* Song: The good life, Weezer.
* Band: Too many to pick just one.
* Store: Abercrombrie.
* Relative: My cousin Erin, well in the lead as I don't have a high opinion of my yuppie scum other cousins.
* Sport: Baseball...you haven't read my profile have ya??
* Ice Cream Flavor: French Vanilla
* Fruit: Oranges. I am always eating oranges.
* Candy: Reese's Pieces
* Day of the Week: Friday. All sorts of steam blown off from everyone. Interesting times to be around people.
* Color: Blue.


Section 8 - Do You
* Like to give hugs?: Whenever I can. Haven't actually hugged someone since January of this year. How fucking pathetic is that??
* Like to give kisses?: Long slow deep wet kisses that last for three days.
* Like to walk in the rain?: Fuck yeah. It reminds you that you are human and bleed, freeze and more importantly are not invincible.
* Prefer black or blue pens?: So little choices. I go with green, fucker!!
* Like to travel?: As much as I can.
* Sleep on your side, stomach or back?: Side. Right side.
* Have a goldfish?: No.
* Ever have the falling dream?: No.
* Have stuffed animals?: Yes, Figment the Dragon from Epcot Center.

Section 9 - What Do You Think About...
* Premarital Sex: You have to test drive the car before you buy it!!
* Abortion: Pro-Choice here. The choice to have an abortion or use contraception or adoption. That question is demonic and too fucking right wing!
* Suicide: Food supply in world is short enough. Have fun.
* Smoking: Only if you have them
* Eating disorders: Fucking disgusting. We have a society where a problem is eating disorders?? Wow.
* Summer: I love Spring. Always good times during that time of year.
* Tattoos: I don't have any. Pick one that is right for your personality.
* Piercings: Want to do them again.

Section 10 - This or That
* Pierced nose or tongue?: Tongue, great for oral sex on both partners.
* Single or taken?: Taken.
* MTV or BET?: Well for video's BET cause MTV NEVER has videos on.
* 7th Heaven or Dawson's Creek?: Let's just carve my dick up and push into my body for that vagina feel.
* Sugar or salt?: Salt.
* Silver or gold?: Gold.
* Chocolate or flowers?: Flowers are living.
* Color or Black-and-white photos?: Depends. Black and white capture more of a story when used right.
* M&Ms or Skittles?: M and M's
* Stay up late or sleep in?: I am an insomniac as it is.
* Hot or cold?: Cold...always better to bundle up than it is to feel all sticky with humidity.
* Mustard or ketchup?: Both, especially for hot dogs. But it has to be golden mustard.
* Spring or Fall?: Are ya retarded? You asked me this before. Spring fuck-o.
* Happy or sad?: Riding high on a deep depression. The doctor even had a term for it, but I dont remember what it was. Something like dystemic. Basically I am always in the negative end of the spectrum, I am a miserable person and often do pray. For Cancer.
* Wonder or amazement?: Wonder, leads to scientific know how.
* Mexican or Italian: Italian. Hot girls, great food and great wine. Viva Italy!!
* Candy or Soda?: Soda. I am like a humming bird with it anyway.
* Pepsi or Coke?: Does it really matter??

Ok, I know that I have said this before but I also know that many people DONT read my blog. So I am going to post this and attach my blog to my AIM profile so that ALL see this. STOP with the '...we are all proud of what you are doing' and the '...we support what you do.' Stop!! I know I should be thankful and this isn't the Vietnam Era where you had to leave for vaca in your uniform making you a target for protestors. I am thankful for that. That is what I am thankful for that this Thanksgiving. But here is my personal gripe with it. You are giving ME credit for what some dude/dudes/chicks are doing in Iraq. And if you truly knew me you would know I don't take credit for others work. I take credit and revel in the work that I did like a regular ole ham. But the taking credit for what others did?? Fuck no!! That isn't me. I wont ever do it. And I am not going to start doing it. So please, I beg of you, stop with the thanks to me. If you are doing it, then you don't know me.

Know what is weird? I can trace the last couple of years of my life through this blog. I had left some comments on another friends blog about 'how I have nothing to wirte about and am thinking of shutting mine down'. Then I actually started reading all my posts. It is weird to trace your life through the reading of the blog but it also can give you some perspective when you have been writing on it for so long. Albeit, I have huge gaps at times of when and what I wrote, but you get the point. I wish that I had it a few more year back to really track my life back, but the last couple is enough.

I am rambling, let me get to my point. The thing I realize about myself is that I am a generally miserable person. Yes I have my days where I am a smiling fool and what have you. I also was like a fucking high school girl for a while there. Having leeched onto other people's lives and did not really know who the fuck I was. I know it is a theme that I harp on a lot here lately. But reading my past, I see just how true that statement is. I can sit here and say 'wow' and feel a little uncomfortable reading some of the drivle I put up here. It does feel like I am watching a tape of some loser that I would be 'mysty-ing' and then shouting out "Hey! That's me!!" Am I saying that I haven't had fun in the past. No. But I also wasn't entirely aware of what I was doing, that much is apparent. I truly was a lost mother fucker. Am I here to be all 'Mr. Inspirational Tape'? And 'Do what I did, it will save your soul'? Fuck no. I am just re-itterating some facts that might have been aparent to some, news to others, but most importantly, a little alarming to myself.

Fact is I haven't 'saved my soul' or know what direction my life is going. I do know that I have perspective again to not do stupid things and am not afraid to say I dont like something or I dont want to do something. That other shit will come later I believe. And this doesn't mean that I am not going to be sad anymore. People that go from months of happiness to months of saddness are fucked and need therapy and/or meds. We are humans, we are emotional and we vary. I admit I dont handle those changes so well and whine and complain like a lil cunt at times about that. But hey, at least I can look back and say 'wow, you little bitchfest.'

As for being miserable in general. Yes I am. I still love to joke and have a good time. But I am a bit on the miserable side. I have some ideas what can end my misery but have no realistic way to carry those plans to fruition so I do have to "deal with it" for now. My outlets are of course many of you. So if you catch me on a ramble where I am ultra-happy or ultra-enraged cause of some Intelligent Design debate. Dont take offense. It is part of my nature and the venting is a good part to keep the soul from exploding and ripping the faces off of people in arguments. It is who I am.

Finally as for wishing I had the blog a few years prior, it would be cool to see just how far I have come. Because the fact of the matter is, I have come a long way in such a short period of time. I had a few bad times that I caused to linger longer by dwelling on them. I have had some good times. They arent written here on my blog but they exist in my heart and mind. Trick is to balance them out and not let them interfere in the present here and now. I see that now. I also see a lot of decisions that were bad, ie trying to teach when I was in denial to myself that I just wasn't happy doing it. The point is, I see what I fucked up and will do my best to not repeat those mistakes again. I am not perfect, I am flawed, I am human. Not some divine being that people create to fill in the gaps of answering why human beings are flawed without any real proof or facts. Whatever. I guess that is all that I have and may edit, may not, depends on what I see as spelling typos but many of you get the point. And to be clear this isn't a "dont do what I did" or "I have the solution and secret of life". This is just a post made by yours truly. Enjoy it. I know that I actually enjoyed writing it. Ohhhh and fuck you and the horse you rode in on if you don't like the fact that I end all my posts with 'FIN'.

FIN.

Amazing is, when you are young, impatient and bored time can't speed up fast enough for you. When you are older with more patience, it doesn't slow down enough. We also just can't make up for time that we lost. Just the chapters in our life need to be rewritten to fit into that part of our schedule. A few thoughts I pondered earlier.

Get well soon Fezzie. We are all pulling for you especially since you entertain many of us everyday where upon we take and take and take. Sometimes we all forget that you are a human being with limits, but thankfully you werent limited from the world. We all love ya Fez, get well soon!

Fez on the left for the illiterate.

New Music.

I have to quote something I heard Ron say from the Ron and Fez show about a few months ago when talking about music. He said that most people will discover new movies and books, yet will still listen to BTO like it came out yesterday. Something happens with music that we get caught in a time warp and we can't escape. I like to believe I am immune to that, but only time will tell.

My point is that discovering new music is almost tantamount to finding a new soul within ourselves. It is refreshing and invigorating, and makes ya feel like a million dollars. No, I am not at the levels of happiness I wish I was at, but I am at somewhat of a plateau level that I dont care. It isnt a placebo but rather a temporary fix that will never be satisfied by my insatiable quest to find what it is that makes me happy. New music is just great for the soul and makes you realize that there is stuff to fight for. That there is a beginning and an end to all things. That no matter what the fuck we did before it doesnt mean shit compared to the people that we can become today. Hence why the stuff we do in HS, outside of shooting up the school, never comes back to haunt us. Cause there is a beginning and an end to all our lives. Even if they come and go in cycles of style, no matter what who we are gets recycled. That is the lesson for today. Find new music. No matter the genre. It will invigorate you.

FIN.

Sequels.

Why in the world does the Hollywood world think we need sequels. Yes I will give you that Star Wars and Godfather movies needed sequels to explain deeper the characters and where they came from. But does that formula hold true for every movie. More less than we would like to admit. Why did Father of the Bride and Chinatown need sequels?? They stood just as well on their own. No need to add more as we weren't overly concerned with these characters. They did their job for the years that they were in existence. And some movies really would be great movies if not for the sequels. Especially in the case of the Rocky Movies. A few years ago a poll went out by ESPN for their 10 greatest sport movies of all time and #1 was 'Raging Bull.' A- cause it is one of the best fucking movies ever. But B-it captures the triumph and the tragedy that follows a boxers career. A close up on the tragedy of humanity that was rivaled only by the original 'Rocky'. Point being, Rocky would have of been #1 if not for all the sequels. And now Stallone is doing Rambo IV and Rocky VI. The Jews have a word for you Mr. Stallone, and it is schmuck!! Do you need money and attention that bad?? Just stop. I have to stop here cause I am about to go into a 'Raging Bull' tizzy and why that is the best piece of art put on film in the last 30 years and veer away from the subject.

FIN.

Buyer Beware!

I have a Kenwood CD player in my lovely little Honda here in Okinawa and I can say that my experience with it has turned me off forever from buying Kenwood products. I buy CD's that are brand new but the mother fucking CD player wont reckognize it, and yes I had a cleaner run through it and it still doesnt work. Buying a Kenwood is tantamount to letting terroists into your home. Ok so I dont feel that strongly, but felt a need to mock that old saying from the Bush camp. Anyways, stay away from the kenwood systems, they are the devil's spawned systems and they will condemn your music to the fiery chasms of Dante's fifth level of hell.