Ok I have to ask why the hell does bamboo grow in my backyard. For years this stuff is a real pain in the ass and grows really thick when it rains for an excessive amount of time. I am talking like baseball bat thick. For years I couldnt find any use for the stuff until we decided to run a Tiki Night. I am using the stuff to put around a bar and decorate it with grass skirts too. But unfortunatly the chairperson of this Tiki Night has no balls and wont ask for a lil more money. I mean seriously, who just serves hamburgers and hot dogs at a Tiki Night. That isnt Tiki. THat is just some ghetto decorations in someones backyard for a BBQ. I even went to RonFez.net and asked people for suggestions of food for the Tiki Night and the one common response I seemed to get from almost everyone was "shishkebob's" Something that I have argued for too. Some people are just thick like that and not cool like dat, down like dat, black like dat...

Well I spent all yesterday afternoon cutting down the bamboo and peeling the branches to make it more exotic looking. I have them drying in the sun right now up at the 'hut'. One can only hope though that it rains to spare the company the embarressment of the debacle this could turn into.

I bought a great book yesterday Called the "Guns of August". It seems an interesting read and was the basis of John Kennedy's stand off situation when dealing with the Cuban Missile Crisis. Kennedy knew that a bad move, or a move that seemed aggressive could lead to nuclear war. Same thing goes for Nikita Kruschev the Soviet Premier. Both men would lose a little prestige in the international community cause of this incident. As a matter of fact, Kruschev would become the only Soviet Premier next to Gorbachev to not die in office. Kruschev would be ousted as a result of this incident and poor production in the Soviet Union. Kennedy of course would never get the chance to find out what the American people really thought of the incident cause he was assassinated before the 1964 election.

Time for the joke of the day: Dirty Johnny's in the back yard digging a hole.
The neighbor says, "What're you doing?"
Johnny says, "My goldfish died, so I'm burying him."
The neighbor says, "Why such a big hole for a goldfish?"
Johnny says, "Because he's inside your fucking cat."

Have a good day and a pleasant tommorow people.

God you have to love Winston Churchill...for those of you who do not know this great man or what some of his accomplishments were I suggest that you do some research on this brilliant person. For he held out and made his country stand fast in the face of an aggressor. An aggressor that sought to disrupt the everyday lives of British citizens and use propoganda to discredit them in the face of adversity. That aggressor of course was Nazi Germany and when war loomed with a resurgent Germany, it was Churchill who reminded the British people to stand fast and prepare for the fight of their life against a megolomaniacal ruler. For those of you that are a little weak on what the meaning on megalomaniac is, allow me to lament for you: 1 : a mania for great or grandiose performance
2 : a delusional mental disorder that is marked by infantile feelings of personal omnipotence and grandeur. After the invasion by Germany, and later the Soviet Union, of Poland; World War II began. Here is a speech from Churchill that held his people together and made them aware of the impending bloodshed that the people of Britain and France faced.Winnie I

Churchill truly was a great speaker and a great man who recognized a threat when it loomed ever so close. But he stayed the course in the face of such actions and helped lead the British Empire to its greatest victory. The speech above came one month after the start of World War Two, a time when there seemed to be no actions made by the British and French against the Nazi aggression. Some writers started to call the war the "sitskrieg", as a way of mocking the horrifying, yet effective fighting tactic used by the Germans against Poland, and later against the western nations of Belguim, Holland, and even France. People could hardly believe there was a war going on since there were no actions. No front lines. And more importantly, no deaths of British and French soldiers. Similiar to the situation here in this nation where many question the reasons why we fight the war that we are fighting. And whom fail to comprehend the idea that there is still fighting going on over there. And there is still death.

Just think about this lesson in history when you fall asleep under the balnket of freedom that is provided for by the troops who are fighting the war to contain the actions of a modern-day megalomaniac. That while it seems almost impossible to fathom the fact that we are at war, not to forget that fact either. Thank you very much for allowing me to present this to you. Have a good night, a pleasant tommorow. And may the Lord shine brightly upon your face the bounty of happiness which we all deserve.

Ok what a wild and whacky Saturday afternoon/evening that I had. We had the Hudson Valley Parade yesterday (Saturday) and man was it a fun ole time. I mean the march was a hike at 3.6 miles, but there were plenty of things to look at both waiting to step off and while marching. I knew that women were active in Volunteer Fire Depts, but I failed to reckognize how many had entered the service in the last 6/7 years. And marching through Tappan, we passed an old cemetary on the way to the reviewing stand and I didnt realize that there were that many old tombstones there. It is something that I will have to make a trip to sometime in the near future. It had me completely distracted as we neared the reviewing stand and might have of lead to us losing a few points when passing judges. There were also sooooo many cuties as we went along the route which were distractinbg to me as well. A nice rain soaked but fun parade.

Before we stepped off I ran into to TA's (Teaching Assistants) that I work with, and I think they got a chance to see a side of me that they never realized. And it was fun to hang out with them, and the two of them are real hotties too. I also learned from them that everyone has been talking and/or spreading rumors that I was nailing this other TA. This of course is totally not true, but surprised me to know just how many people thought that. I loffed at that lil tidbit. I wound up after the parade hanging with guys from Stony Point and Hillcrest for many of my guys went home, but I had my car down that way and it was fun. Even though a few of them wound up in a fight while I was in the bathroom at one point. I came out and made a lil joke after the fight got broken up that went to the extent of "Ok so I peed a lil bit on the seat, but that is no reason to fight." I left with a few of the better guys from those department and was supposed to go to Irelands to meet with the hotties, but I got distracted and went off somewhere else. I had lots of fun and did not return home here till like 10AM. There is a small thrill of waking up in a strange place. It is almost like being in that movie Memento, and you try to piece together what the hell you did the night before. I got home and slept till like 4PM, and then just spent the rest of the day recovering. So for those I was supposed to hang out with, I am sorry but we have the whole summer looming over us and there will be plenty of time to hang.

That besa my story and Im a sticking to it...

Not too much to write about today. I hung out with an ole friend for lunch and we had a nice chat about things and what not. We founbd each others situations interesting including how far we have advanced in our careers and what not. It is always fun to meet with friends to discuss all the changes that have occured and realized that times change, people change all the time. And that it is fun to advance, as much as the past aggrandizes to live forever, the future is scary cause it is filled with uncertainties. Well that may be true for others but I dont fear the future due to the fact that I always live by the slogan of live each day like it is your last so that way you have no regrets. Today I did a nice trek of running from one end of Rosman (a distance of 3 miles round trip) to another without getting tired at all.Then I did all sorts of kung fu exercises which cuased the muscles to scream in pain. It was an exhillerating experience. Sometimes that is all you need in life is a good run to clean out the system, and think about things that have to be done including priorities.

Ok now I have to put up the joke of the day:

A guy says, "Doc, I think I've got a sex problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore."
The doctor says, "Come back tomorrow and bring her with you."
The next day, the guy shows up with his wife.
The doctor says to the wife, "Take off your clothes and lie on the table."
She does it, and the doctor walks around the table a few times looking her up and down.
He pulls the guy to the side and says, "You're fine. She doesn't give me a hard-on, either."

Ok i have to post some lyrics to like one of the best songs EVER written, unfortunatly the lead singer played the "unlucky lottery" and died of a heroin OD. Still a great song nonetheless:

Mucho gusto me llamo Bradley,
(glad to meet you my name is Bradley)
Im hornier than Ron Jeremy,
and if you wanna get popped in your knee,
just wipe that look off your bati face

You hate me cause i got what you need,
a pretty little daughter that we call mixie, and,
if you wanna get beat physically
it will be over in a minute if ya

so she told me to come over and i took that trip
and then then she pulled out my mushroom tip
and when it came out, it went drip drip drip
i didnt know she had the g.i. joe, kung foo grip

and it went - uhh
and the girl caress me down- uhh
and thats that lovin sound- it went uhh
and the girl caress me down- uhh
and thats that lovin sound

when i kiss mixie she makes me feel horny,
cause im the type of lover with the sensitivity,
when she kiss my neck and tickle me frenzy,
the right kind of lover on Sunday morning.

En el otro lado es donde vivi,
(On the other side is where I lived (in the U.S.))
con mi hijita, que se llama mixie,
(with my little daughter, who's name is Mixie)
y su hermana, si me quiere,
(and her sister, she really likes me)
y ya horita, tenemos un bebe,
(and in a moment, we'll have a baby)

Sus padres sus tios me trataron matar
(Your parents, your uncles tried to kill me)
but they did not get too far
un poco despues tuve que regresar
(a little while later I had to come back)
con un chingo de dinero
(with a shit load of money)
cause you know im a star

me fui a costa rica
(I went to Costa Rica)
para tomar y sufear
(to drink and surf)
placticaba con la rasa
(talking with the homies)
cause they know who we are

Si no so dio cuenta
(If you didnt take notice)
then i bet you never were
you must be a muneca
(you must be a sissy doll)
if your still standing still

and it went - uhh
and the girl caress me down- uhh
and thats that lovin sound- it went uhh
and the girl caress me down- uhh
and thats that lovin sound

Me gusta mi reggae,
(I like my reggae)
Me gusta punk rock,
(I like punk rock)
Pero la cosa que me gusta mas es panochita,
(but the thing I like most is pussy)

Ponga la nalga en la aire if you know who you are,
(put your ass in the air if you know who you are)
Ponga la nalga en la aire y empieza gritar,
(put your ass in the air and start to yell)

No tenga miedo, Im your papi,
(Don't be scared, Im your dad..)
take your chones, y les mandan a mi,
(take your panties and send them to me)
levanta, levanta, tienes que gritar,
(get up, get up, you have to yell)
levanta, levanta, tienes que bailar.
(get up, get up, you have to dance)


and it went - uhh
and the girl caress me down- uhh
and thats that lovin sound- it went uhh
and the girl caress me down- uhh
and thats that lovin sound

Well all has certainly been quiet here on the Eastern Front now hasnt it...Well I have finally arrived at the last day of school and we have to complete all the tests for the students to pass. Hopefully they will all emerge victorious otherwise it besa longs summer for all of them. I am going to make this brief cause I really dont have a lot of time to chat and what not. When I come back about noonish, I will share some interesting links that I have found in the last few days. They are quite intriguing. What I will depart with is the Joke Of the Day:

Mindi and Sylvia go to the zoo. A gorilla breaks out of his cage, grabs Sylvia, throws her down, rips off all her clothes, and fucks her. The zookeeper pulls the gorilla off, and takes poor Sylvia to the hospital. A few days later, Mindi goes to visit her.
She says, "So how you are feeling, Sylvia?"
Sylvia says, "So how should I feel? He doesn't call, he doesn't write..."

And here is another good one in honor of the Yankees getting no-hit the other day:

Whats a Yankee?
Same thing as a quickie only you do it yourself.

CYA!!!

By the way, my new fave movie is "Swimfan"...just full of the goody goody sickness

Im sorry that all of this is still going on in your life Christie. What I have decided to supplement the Joke of the Day with what I feel are some of the better music lyrics from a classic artist, Ray Charles. Now the meaning of 'stoned' is a hell of a lot different from the meaning today:

Let's go get stoned
Let's go get stoned
When your baby won't let you in
Got a few pennies, a bottle of gin
Just call your buddy on the telephone
Let's go get stoned

Let's go get stoned
Let's go get stoned
When you work so hard all the day long
And everything you do seems to go wrong
Just drop by my place on your way home
Let's go get stoned

It ain't no harm
You're takin just a taste
But don't blow your cool
and start messing up the place
It ain't no harm you're faking just a nip
But make sure you don't fall down bust your lip
Let's go get stoned
Let's go get stoned


Now that is some funny shit. Especially from a lot of ole songs that had subliminal meanings from what people realized. A great example of this is Billy Joel's " Only the good die young", a song that is all about banging Catholic Girls. The ironic part about that was when I was in 8th grade in Catholic School, they had a lip sync contest and a group of girls lyp synced that song. I found it funny the way the priest oggled them while that was playing. Another song with a double entendra is "Uptown Girl" which is all about anal sex. Just look for the references and you will find them.

Ok now time for the joke of the day:

A blonde calls her friend and says, "I've got a problem."
He says, "What's the matter?"
She says, "I bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together, and I can't find any edges."
John says, "What's the picture of?"
She says, "It's a big rooster."
John says, "I'll come over and take a look."
When he gets to her house, she takes him into the kitchen and shows him the puzzle that's on the kitchen table.
John says, "For Christ's sakes, Buffy, put the cornflakes back in the box."

This one had me pissing, I must share with you:

How do you fuck a fat chick?
Get a pound of hamburger and a poodle. Put the hamburger in her pussy, and while the dog eats the hamburger, fuck it up the ass.

Morning ladies...first let me say to Christie that I am sorry for the lousy weekend that you had. Even though we have already talked I am sorry for all that you are going through. But it is like I said, when bad things happen, they happen in three's so hopefully this is the last for a while for ya. If ya need Wonderboy, or Mom, or anyone fired into a trunk Just say the word and it is done.

Well I hate to Polly Positive, but I had a good weekend. Sure Saturday morning I had to awake and adminsiter SAT's to one kid for four hous, but it did keep me occupied. Although I could have of used the sleep. When that was done I got home and got me a lil bit of a nap in preparation for the Boat Cruise Dinner around Manhattan with the Firehouse. Well on the bus ride down I got thrown onto the asshole bus cause th cool bus with all my friends and family were all packed. It wouldnt have of been a big deal, cause I could have of just sat on the cooler but there is a reason why I didnt do that (those who know me know why, and the reason why I am censoring myself. We have fucking pshyco's who monitor every lil detail we write here and throw it at me. Hi pshyco!). But once I got to the cruise it really was a great lil trip. If I had known the weekend you were having Christie I would have of brought ya with me, so that you could have of reveled in the fun that my friends provide. I mean between Duane, Brian, McNally and everyone else it truly was a good time for all. And on the ride home I got to be on the cool bus, Yay!! Even if it pissed off one particular person, whom I told to chil the mother fuck out. I had a good ole time, and that is whats important. And yesterday was all about recovering which Christie knows when I talked to her. I was sounding all about like I was going to die and what not. I then watched "Band of Brothers" with a friend and had a chance to explain some of the details that were seen in the show. Nice relaxing weekend overall. And now we just finish up review for Regents and what not and then Friday, it all besa over.

Now time for the joke of the day:
A blonde walks up to a salesman and says, "I want to buy this TV."
He says, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
She goes for a complete make-over...she gets a haircut and new hair color, a new outfit, and puts on big sunglasses. She waits a few days and then she walks up to the salesman and says, "I want to buy this TV."
He says, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
She says., "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
He says, "Because that's a microwave."

Keep the feedback up about the Doogsite. For there are improvements coming about everyday.

Guten Tag!!

I want to start todays blog by giving a BIG hug and Thank You props to Anna. Anna is a LOVELY young woman who added the tagboard to my website and is just a rawking ole punk who deserves mad props and adoration from the Doogie.

Well enough about that. I gave my kids a practice exam today from the state. And the kids needed to record their names and book numbers on the sheets to for verification purposes. It was for a regents with questions that have not been used before but cover the same things that will be on the test anyways. Well I took a whole shit load to give to my kids and what not but between 4th and 8th I found that I didnt have enough for 8th period. So I was in a lil bit of a mad dash to try and get more copies of the test. At the same time I ran into Tony who gave me the tests and told him I didnt have enough for 8th. So he found some more for me from a class that had only 8 kids in it and was gonna discard the answer sheets they had to help ourselves. It turend out that if I had made copies of the test that we both could have of gone to jail for it!!! It was lucky I ran into him when I did and told him otherwise I would have of been hearing the OZ theme song sometime soon. And with my luck would have of gotten the roomate that says "Lets spoon" (Shuddering uncontrollably at that last image). Fucking state taking their exams so seriously like they are missle codes and what not.

Ok time now for the joke of the day, it is a lil old but still funny:

What is the difference between George Micheal and a Microwave??
A microwaves stops when you open the door.


Ok i can do a little better than that one:

A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of size 8 tie shoes.
The salesman says, "But, sir, I can see from up here you're at least a size 11."
The guy says, "Just bring me a size 8 tie shoe."
The salesman brings them, the guy stuffs his feet into them, ties them tight, and then he stands up, obviously in pain.
He says to the salesman, "I lost my business and my house, I live with my mother-in-law, my wife is fucking my best friend, my daughter is pregnant, and my son is gay. The only pleasure I have in life is taking off these fucking shoes."

That is my blog of the day

Oyyyy vey, I am getting all worn out now. People say, "Well you are home by 2PM everyday". Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh, wrong dickhead try again. I usually arrive at work at like 7AM and stay almost everyday till like 3PM. Ok an eight hour work day, seven and a half if ya count lunch. But I have to deal with the fucking morons, whom should not have of copulated in the first place, kids who dont know jack shit in the world. Couldnt give a fuck about anything, and give you attitude when you say anything to them. Especially anything in the form of discipline. You have at one end of the spectrum in my classes the kids that work their asses off, but just dont have the smarts. And the fucking idiots who are bright but are either A) spoiled like a mofo, B) Lazy as a mofo, C) A combination of A and B. Add to the mess the fact that I just want this year over, and no sleep and you have one tired bastard. I love teaching about history, but I hate having to deal with the assholes that just are there cause mom and dad forgot to cover up dads schmeckle and now I have to deal with the by product that should have of rolled down moms ass cheeks rather than in her rotting vag. Kind of reminds me of a joke, so batten the hatches and prepare for joke number one today:

What sexual position do you use to make an ugly kid??
Ask your mom...

I know gets the Fozzy Bear whacka whacka whacka sound effect. But there is a different type of stress here with teaching where you are Constantly under a microscope, especially from administrators. Most of whom were NEVER teachers, but rose to the positions of power due to the fact that they give head and take it in the ass the best. Whoops did I say that? My bad! You arent allowed to vent, except if you are a woman, then you can use PMS as an excuse. You cant talk back even when you have the most wicked comeback in your head (One of mine would be "you are a poster child of why we should keep abortions legal"), and you must teach the child even when the mofo has NO inclination to learn. And all these mofo's who teach about how to become a teacher are all whacked the fuck out of their mother fucking head. Get the glass dick out of your mouth and smell the folgers!!!

Well now that I am done with that rant, I found last night some of the best things I ever did record on a VCR EVER!!! Mystery Science Theatre 3000 episodes, complete with the original commercials from the time frame too!! These tapes were recorded between 1995-1997 but man you see the things advertised and it makes it seem forever ago. The shows themselves have me pissing laughing, but there is one that I am looking for like a madman in my room and can not locate. It has one of the best shorts they ever did. And it is not out on DVD just yet. A purchase that I will have to anticipate sometime in the future. Or the "not too distant future" acoording to the hardcore mysty fans.

Ok Time for the joke of the day:
Three Iraqis and their dog leave their apartment looking for odd jobs in order to pay their bills. At the end of the day they come home and meet their landlord sitting on his porch.
The landlord says, "What's the deal with your dog? He's all covered with mud."
One of the Iraqis says, "We found work today doing some landscaping."
The next night the three Iraqis and their dog come home and the dog is covered with sawdust.
The landlord says, "What's the deal with your dog tonight?"
One of the Iraqis says, "We found work today doing some carpentry."
The next night they get out of their truck and the dog stumbles out behind them, bleeding from its ass, whimpering, and staggering all over the yard.
The landlord says, "What in the Hell did you guys do at work today?"
One of the Iraqis says, "Work? Today was our day off."

Faith, you must hit "Post and Publish" when ya want your blog to post...Ok well since I dont have too much to say today, especially since my site is being monitored by the Femi-Nazi Gestapo. To whom I would like to say fuck you, and may your crotch rot out from the inside out and your pee be painful for the rest of your days. Time for the joke of the day:

Two guys are driving down south when they get pulled over by a local trooper.
The trooper comes up to the window and taps on the window with a nightstick.
The driver rolls down the window and gets whacked in the head by the trooper. The driver says "what was that for?".
To which the trooper replies "This is Alabama boy, when I pull you over you have your license and registration ready!!"
The driver hands the trooper the license and registration which comes out clean, prompting the trooper to return it to the driver.
After he returns the documents to the driver he goes around to the passenger side, taps on the window with the nightstick to which the passenger rolls down the window and gets whacked in the head.
The passenger says "What was that for?!"
The trooper says "Im making your wish come true."
The passenger says "what do you mean?"
The trooper replies with "I know you're gonna get one hundred feet down the road and say 'I wish that mother fucker tried that shit on me!!'"

Sound clip of the day.

These are lyrics posted not for the girls who write on this site, or too many of the people who will visit it. I love many of you. But their is a small minority who need to know what they are and why stalking is never a good thing. So for those individuals (Or individual) here is a song that is especially dedicated to you. I hope you enjoy as you toil through life being what this song is about.

Again, advance apologies to Faith and Christie, and every other woman that I know. But I am sure they would understand why I did this. So without further ado, I bring you Brother Joe's Masterpiece (Picture the Patty Duke theme song as you read the lyrics):

Well C is for the way you crap on me
U is 'cause you're ugly and so's your peach
N's for no I never, told you that I railed your
sister
T- thanks for the hummers, they were better than
your mothers....CUNT

is all you'll ever be it's true
cunt and you must be more than one, you're two
pew, your gash is stanky, and your ass is always
cranky
cunt , the word was made for you.....

C is for castration, tried that on me...(hey..hey)
U well I urinated, have a shot it's free
N's for some big negro, tearing up your leather
cheerio
T - you friggin twat, no you will never be
forgotten...

cunt is all you've ever been to me
a cunt and a really big one and all my friends agree
you're that slang word for vagina,
can't describe you any finer,
cunt the word was made for you....whoa, Ho
cunt the word's just right for you
gadabadoobiebahumbaba
cunt the word was made for you...

Oyyy vey, what is with all the tests?!

This is a test...hope you girls like the update. It be fly like DOLOMITE!!! Yet another test 6:10PM

I knew about the Revolutions preview. I was telling people around me not to leave that they would miss something. Also, Christie, did you get that mathematical reference when ya saw it again for the second time? As for the confidence thing, that will come with time. You will develop more confidence. Trust me on that, especially hanging out with me...I will be updating this site in the next few days to include comments features and links to other websites. I just have to get the expert advice on how to do it right...Alright Mothra and Batra, this is Godzilla signing out.

EDIT testing one two three four